Thoughts on that guy

Have you ever been in a relationship with a guy that puts you in emotional limbo? We drive each other crazy, but can't let each other go because apparently we are gluttons for punishment. We we first started dating life was Ah-mazing! Things got complicated after a bit and we tried to make it work. Of course we have done the multiple break-ups and are friends. He is my best friend. But then I realize we can't be friends. Neither one of us is going to move on because we still have each other. So now it's a matter of finding the strength to let him go. I love him enough to do that but I am so selfish. I don't want to have a life without him but I know I need to. It would be the best for both of us. Why is it always so hard to let go? For so long I was a strong, independent. I didn't need to have anyone around to be happy- let alone a guy. How do we go from being fine on our own to being dependent on someone who no longer makes us happy nor we make them happy? Why is it so hard to let go and move on. Well, that's all I have for tonight. More later.